Something I’ve been thinking a lot about lately is the relationships traders have with their loved ones and how those closest to us can effect our trading.
In an earlier post, I admitted that I am not qualified to give you advice regarding your love life, but I do know a thing or two about loving the life we create for ourselves. Our loved ones can either contribute or detract from our ability to live a life we love. But ultimately, it’s up to us! So, why not invest some time in understanding how these dynamics can work in your favor for the benefit of all!
It doesn’t matter your gender, but as much as it pains me to say this, I believe the majority of people who earn their living as a trader are most likely to be of the male persuasion. I do hope this continues to change as it has been proven that women tend to be better investors.
See for yourself:
I tend to think like a guy so this doesn’t always work in my favor ; )
I like to take risks but am getting better at managing this predisposition (Thanks, Mike!).
Here’s what I have learned from my own personal experience and think this can be applicable if you’re a guy whose girlfriend is demanding more “us” time (sorry if this sounds sexist or politically incorrect) or if you’re a woman whose guy is just not into getting out and about when you’re feeling as if the walls are closing in on you.
There’s a solution that will actually enhance your relationship, and it doesn’t require logging in to the Ashley Madison app. ; )*
We all could benefit by re-learning to entertain ourselves. No dating app required, just some creativity and a bit of self-confidence, which you will find increases exponentially as you begin this process.
Have you ever felt rejected when your attempts to spend time with someone were met with less than excitement? I have, but once I rephrased it and put the emphasis on me and not blaming or berating the other, I had to admit, why would someone want to spend their precious free time with me if I didn’t want to spend a few hours alone with myself?
Now, I’ll admit, this really hasn’t been much of an issue for me (I enjoy my solitude) but I hear this a lot from family members, friends, and even strangers who are venting to one another, to know this is issue exists.
Chart Your Trade is unique in its approach to the markets (adding value where most just tout stats that seem to always work in their favor —- all the pundits seem to be short stocks on a down day and long when the market is up). One reason I enjoy writing for Michael’s platform is the fact that I too tend to be unique in the way I view the many facets of this thing we call “life.” More specifically, what makes a strong relationship.
Here is an example that many may not comprehend (trust me, my family still scratches their head). My husband (also very independent, thankfully) and I added the quote, “let there be spaces in your togetherness and let the winds of heaven dance between you,” by Khalil Gebran, to our wedding vows and to this day have done our best to honor this. Granted, I was 20 years younger at the time and was just coming into the concept, but am grateful for having this guidance as it has served not only me but our relationship well.
It’s not always easy to “do your own thing,” when you’re in a relationship but it is always worth it and can be a real game changer! It will take you out of your comfort zone. Heck, if comfort is what I witness most nights while I’m out on a date with my husband, I’ll order anything but what they’re having! We look around and most couples are face planted into their phones while we’re enjoying one another. It tells me I’m doing something right by stepping outside of the “zone.”
So, are you ready to give this some thought? If not, here are some reasons to re-think it:
I’ve always believed that the level of freedom you achieve in life is relative to the level of “success” you have attained. I’m not talking finances, although that is one measure. I’m thinking freedom to be yourself. Spending some time with yourself allows you to remember who exactly you are. You are doing what you want, where you want without the need to “check-in” to see if the person your with is enjoying the experience. We all forget from time to time what it is we actually enjoy as our needs and wants can’t help but be influenced by those around us. And this isn’t entirely a bad thing. Relationships are give and take. But those who truly love you, love you for who you are not who you think they want you to be. So, go be YOU. Your partner will thank me!
Many of us are finding with all of the responsibilities we take on as we get older (jobs, spouses, kids) that there is precious time to exert our independence. Well, I for one, can tell you as a child raised by a single mother (my father died when I was 2) that seeing my mom run our family business and still make time for herself, only left me with a profound sense of respect for her. She never apologized for what it was she was doing and that led to our believing that whatever she was doing was for the best, for all. And looking back, it was. She led a very full life and instilled in us a desire to do the same.
When you fall into a pattern of “being a couple,” with or without realizing it, you become just part of the narrative. We each have our own unique outlook, preferences, thoughts and memories to keep alive. And when we spend time shaping our individual way we relate to the world, we keep ourselves alive. This allows our relationship as a couple to stay alive. No one wants to be “married” to themselves. We want to be encouraged, challenged, and rewarded with the uniqueness of another. Both people who create this “couple” will emerge much more interesting … not only to the other but to one’s self.
As traders, our role gives us plenty of freedom, we act independently and I know you think this “job” is interesting or you wouldn’t go through all of the work it takes to excel at this, so give yourself the same respect you show your craft and when the markets close go out and
Do “you” … it will make up for the feeling, as I succumb to on occasion, of being a slave to the markets!